Good Counseling: Ambivalent?

Good Counseling.com -- Dara McKinley, MA -- 206.789.1901

Ambivalent?

During challenging times, people often cope with emotional disturbances by distracting themselves and ignoring uncomfortable feelings. At its most extreme this can take the form of an addiction. There are obvious addictions to drugs, alcohol and food, or not-so-obvious addictions to work, exercising, television, the computer, sex, etc.

For some, even with effective distractions, there will be a returning inner doubt that things are not what they could be. There is a desire for change, but also a large and natural amount of ambivalence about getting professional help. Here are some common obstacles people struggle with:

1) “Seeing a psychotherapist means something is wrong with me – it means I am weak. I should be able to deal with this on my own”

This is the most common obstacle and the most untrue. When someone seeks counseling, it indicates a level of self-awareness and a willingness to be responsible for how one’s life unfolds. These are qualities of strong people.

There are certain times in life when we all need guidance, whether from a teacher in school, a doctor for an ailment or a mentor at work. Counseling provides guidance in the realm of relationships, emotions, thoughts and behaviors.

2) “Therapy is all about lying on a couch, telling my childhood story and being asked how I felt about it – I don’t see how that would be helpful – I don’t like to dwell on the past”

All counselors take past experiences into consideration; however, constantly referring to the past or one's story is not the place of genuine change. Results are only found by working with oneself in the moment.

3) “Therapy is so costly – I can’t justify the expense”

When we are struggling inside – it usually affects every aspect of our life. Nevertheless, depending on your income counseling can seem very expensive and a big financial risk. If you’re suffering emotionally, the clarity, awareness and perspectives gained from effective psychotherapy are priceless. Additionally, freeing the energy that is consumed by internal or relationships struggles will inevitably result in the ability to generate more money in your life.

What is it worth to you to end a struggle with yourself or your partner?

4) “Therapy seems too touchy-feely for me. I’m too practical to relate.”

All therapists have different styles and it is essential to choose a counselor with whom you have a connection. For example, if a soft and nurturing approach does not resonate with you, there are many counselors who lead in a practical and straightforward way. Be selective and know what you’re looking for.